I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
