Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
