How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize