You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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