Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
