Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
