Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
