Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
