i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I think i got beer on your cat.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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