she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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