I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sorry about my life...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
