I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
