so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
