toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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