Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
