He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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