I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
