the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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