My brain says no but my pants say off.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
