Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Alive.
So much puke
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
