I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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