chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
