literally had 100 drinks last night.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
