so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
