Barsexuality is the new black.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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