On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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