My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
