life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
