i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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