As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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