Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
