Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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