i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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