Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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