dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
