I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
