I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
