He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize