i wish my penis had a tongue
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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