What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize