i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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