what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
