fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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