handjob tips. give me some.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your cock deserves a montage
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
