Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
