do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize