Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
