big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
