I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude i'm inner monologue high
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
