Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
