I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
