Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
