Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
