Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
