Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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