yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
