yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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