i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
