Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
