i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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