Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
